Florida is a terrible, terrible state of affairs

I just got back from holiday in Florida. It was nice to see family that I hadn’t seen in a while. However, there were 20 of us in total that traveled together and that experience was awful. Traveling in groups is really one of the worst ideas ever because as the saying goes, “a person is smart; people are stupid”. It holds true even if there is no saying like that. I am going to list the things about south Florida that made for a particularly rubbish trip.

1. Its hot, sunny, and almost always windy.

2. No beer on tap…anywhere…ever

3. No wine…I asked what kind of wine the bar at our hotel had, and this was the response. “Red, white, and pink”

4. Fat, old, ugly, really tan men in swim trunks and women who look like fat, old, ugly, really tan men in swim trunks.

5. There is nothing to do. I really don’t see the allure of sunny beaches because all you can do is sit on them and get cancer. No one has a job and you can’t get a good cup of coffee, even the Starbucks was crap.

Anyway, my point is that I actually like the cold weather and some snow. It brings definition to the seasons and makes you feel like you are alive and more importantly makes you feel like you matter a little more. Florida doesn’t seem to contribute a whole lot to the world. Just lots of implants and sun tan lotion. At least from my office in Boston I feel like I am part of something bigger than a big vacation…

But like my cousin likes to say, “you gotta love it or you gotta learn to love it.” Indeed.

*You might notice that in this picture I am wearing a button-front shirt and a sweater – not unusual for me, however I am wearing a baseball hat, which is unusual.  Its also about 80 degrees out as well.

I’m beginning to accept and embrace my own divine unhappiness

David said something to me the other day that got me thinking. He said something like, “you are either born with it or not and you can’t learn it. You are either happy or you aren’t”, and that made me a little sad. But the more I think about it, the more I am comforted in knowing that maybe I needn’t try so hard to make myself something that I was never intended to be. I like that feeling. I don’t ever remember being a particularly happy child, teenage years were especially morose, and I’m a pretty miserable adult, which is par for the course I suppose.

The other day a friend of mine told me that he thought it was an interesting phenomenon that all his friends were depressed. I had thought about this before, because with the exception of 1 or 2, all of my friends are depressed. I take no provisions against depression such as medication or talk therapy. I take a vitamin, eat lots of fruit/yogurt, drink juice and milk and overall try to keep a healthy diet, I exercise occasionally and keep good company. That is my natural defense against crippling depression, although I’ve never been crippled by anything other than indifference.

I long ago accepted the fact that I would never be an athlete, a rock star, a bad ass, or Welsh. I still won’t accept that I won’t be famous, rich, or marry 30 years my junior, but I think taking provisions toward understanding that there is a distinct possibility that I may never be happy is a step in the right direction.

Another thing. There is really nothing worse than potential, well, luck and charisma are pretty bad too. I think about how much of a burden potential puts on a young person’s life and how inevitably when said person squanders his or her potential, like we do, he inadvertently lets down everyone who ever supposedly supported him. As though because I decided not to go to law school, I’ve let down my freshman law professor and I’ll be riddled with guilt for the rest of my life.